


the five stages of grief

by xoxonct



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Depression, Five Stages of Grief, M/M, based off taeyang's eyes nose lips, not really.., renjun cheats on jeno, so its a songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-17
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2019-04-24 02:17:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14345853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxonct/pseuds/xoxonct
Summary: jeno thught he was happyhe thought renjun was happyhe had his heart given to renjunand renjun decided to break it apart





	the five stages of grief

**Author's Note:**

> lets of typos sorry

He is sleepy   
He wants to sleep  
But his eyes are to afraid to so that   
Hid brain wants to sleep, shit his mind off to hid subconscious dreams   
His heart feels like its stabbed for a millionth time every passing moment.  
His eyes are  red with exhaustion and tears.   
But he didn't react   
Nor did he cry.   
He just lies there in his bed  
Staring at the ceiling  
More like stare emptily at emptiness   
He wants to sleep and never wake up  
When he's awake his reality breaks his heart   
When he sleeps his nightmares pains his brain  
He has no place to rest   
He just wants to just go away   
He prays for those memories to go away  
He prays for those moments to go away   
He prays for him to go away  
He dies everyday thinking of him.   
But he is calm  
Too calm

He thought they were happy because Jeno was the most happy person in the world or at least he thought he was with what he had with Renjun   
Renjun was his heart, his everything.   
Until Renjun broke it into a million piece  
"Jeno...... "  
"Yes?  Injun? "   
"Let's break up.... "  
"Why?..... "  
"Because i........ "  
"What??  Why?? "  
"Nevermind"  
"TELL ME"  
"I like someone else now"  
"Okay who? "  
"Mark"  
"What did I ever do to you to make you do something like this?  Tell me"  
"Nothing you were an amazing boyfriend I loved you so much and I don't know why and how I could do this to you Jeno"  
"Loved?? "  
He chuckles darkly at the remark not amused at all. There was a long silence in front of them until Renjun's phone rang and it was Mark   
"I'm going now Jeno I'm so sorry I love you"   
Then he leaves,  
And Jeno's heart explodes  
He clenches his palm waiting for tears to come  
But  they never came   
Instead exhaustion and denial came. 

What hurts him the most us that out of all people Renjun had feelings for Mark jeno's best friend.   
Not only the heartbreak  
The betrayal hurts so much  
But  he stayed calm  
Too calm.   
He denied this first for the first two weeks  
"Jeno wake your ass up live a life come on!!! " his friend jaemin tries to shake him to let  him get out of bed but no avail Donghyuck now speaks up "Listen dipshit! I have enough of your stubborn shit renjun is not the only person in the  world man up and get over it! " this triggers Jeno "No! He was maybe just pranking me or he was scared.... He wouldn't do that to me Renjun loves me too much.... " Jaemin stares at his broken hearted friend with pity but Donghyuck was angry he pulls Jeno by his shirt collar "Renjun is gone!!!! He is now with someone else! I saw him with Mark last night at Sanha's party" jeno looks down to the ground in shock. Jaemin and Donghyuck  anticipated that he's gonna cry but Jeno didn't he just left the room.   
He was calm. Too calm. 

Now Jeno is hyper active now he goes to night clubs a lot and drinks a lot, hooked up with lots of people but never settles for them he's a good looking person so he never has a problem with getting hooked up with anyone Jeno thinks this way he'll get back Renjun and that this hookups shall make renjun want to go back to him.   
His friends looked at his behavior with pity this wasn't a normal Jeno does.  Normal Jeno doesnt like going to the "people" places, he's reserved and committed.   
This is what his grievance do. There wasn't really anything they can do to make him move on because he never really joins them in their activities he joins them when Renjun was with them.   
They watched him with heavy hearts.   
He was supposed to cry, curse and dysfunctional   
But jeno was calm. Too calm for his own good.   
One day, jeno was running to the burger stand near his town to buy himself one and the sight in front of him fires something in him that he experienced more than ever before it was "anger" Mark and renjun were at the burger stand holding hands and smiling he feels. Jealous. How dare Mark does that to renjun... Wait they broke up...and his hear sank when he realised that Renjun is now in lovw with someone else.  Renjun spots jeno and calls out his name and Mark was looking at him expectedly waiting to apologize but Jeno takes amomenr to glare and just leave. He didn't miss  the look on both of their disappointed and dejected faces.   
They'd expected jeno to come up to them shout at them for their betrayal but jeno didn't.   
He calm. Too calm for his own good.   
Now what he feels is sadness the feeling of renjun missing in his arms, the feeling when renjun smiles at him with those pretty eyes and when renjun was too close to his skin and his warm breath makes him shiver. Renjun's kisses, words and empty promises. Renjun in his oversized hoodie, renjun's cute smiles, renjun hugging his little plushie like a 5 year old, renjun painting in his canvas creating a mess every time, Renjun sitting at his lap and kissing him, renjun cooking, renjun waking up next to him, Renjun's pretty little face, Renjun's little body,  Renjun's pretty mouth saying those pretty little lies   
"I love you"  
"I'm yours forever"   
He missed those lies he missed renjun but he knows  that is gone. He ain't his anymore.   
Instead of crying bitterly he isolates himself in his own space and chuckle at his thoughts and call himself pathetic but he never cries.   
Jeno is a calm person. He was too calm for his own good. 

From: Renjun  
1:09 am

I'm sorry jeno I love you I wish you all the best goodbye

Seen

"Did you just You wish me well??" He laughs at the pathetic text laughing at how those lame words did very little to make him feel better,  no it makes him feel worse renjun clearly knows that he's not okay but  he was stupid enough to text Him to help him move on that fast. Really?  So stupid and pathetic.  the tears came back again   
From renjun  
1:10 am  
Mark says sorry as well

Seen

Now he laughs loudly and then the tears finally fell down his cheeks, he is now crying bitterly

To renjun  
1:15 am

fuck you I wish you hell goodbye. 

Message unsent

renjun is happy without hi, this confirms it. There is the acceptance now it hurts so much too much now that jeno can't handle it anymore its too much now.   
He let's the tears fall down and he cried bitterly, this time. 

**Author's Note:**

> well how was it guys? let me know in the comments


End file.
